When you think of elopements … what comes to mind? Are you still imagining a drive-thru wedding in Las Vegas? Elopements are no longer the secretive, taboo events they used to be. There are SO many great reasons to elope, and while I know that elopements are truly romantic and really special, there are still persistent elopement myths that really confuse couples or, even worse, scare them off from eloping entirely!
So today, I’m going to BUST and break down some of the most common myths I hear about elopements.
Myth. #1: “Elopements aren’t real weddings.”
FACT: Soooo false. I hear this myth all the time! Choosing to do things your own way will NEVER make your wedding day “less” of a wedding day. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. At the end of the day, you’ll have married the love of your life. — and you don’t need hundreds of people watching you to make it all feel real!
Myth #2: “You need to get married in a real wedding venue.”
FACT: You can get married wherever you want, baby.
I hear this one pretty often. “We’re not sure where we’re getting married yet, we have to look around at venues.”
Listen, I get it — I like most wedding venues — but what if I told you that instead of stressing out trying to tour ten venues, filling out endless contact forms, emailing endlessly, you could get married in a spot that was special to you? Whether it’s a brewery, like Angry Scotsman, or even at the local library?
And if you’re worried you can’t get married there? Well, you NEVER know until you ask. One of my couples, Kelli and Tony weren’t sure you could get married at the library, but to their surprise, the library staff was absolutely delighted when they emailed — they said yes!
So, if the search for a big venue is bumming you out… think a little differently! And if you need help searching for your perfect venue, I know some of the best offbeat spaces to fit the bill. I even wrote a blog post on my favorite small venues here in OKC!
Myth #3: “Elopements are selfish.”
FACT: Planning a meaningful day that’s all about you two is NOT SELFISH. Do you know what is selfish? People you don’t know well or haven’t spoken to in years expecting a party, free food, or a part of your day.
This is your day. Not aunt Margie’s. Not your childhood babysitter’s. Not your cousin’s fraternity brother who only showed up because of the whispers of an open bar. You deserve to spend this day however you’d like.
Believe me, the friends and family who want to see you two happy will be there to support you.
Additionally, this photographer will love and support you every step of the way! This is *your* day.
Myth#4: “Your family can’t be there.”
FACT: Listen, elopements are usually just the two of you. But you know me, I love a good rule-bending. This is YOUR day and if you want your closest family or friends to experience a special place and you two and witness your ceremony, it will not make your elopement any less of one!
One of my couples, Kendal and Tyler chose a private ceremony with their immediate families, and the next day chose to have a reception to party with ALL their friends!
Here are a few other ways you can involve your family in your elopement:
1. You can actually have them present for your ceremony, to witness your vows
2. Your family and friends can write you letters to read together on your elopement day
3. Your family and friends can watch from anywhere as you livestream your private ceremony to them
4. You can have a private ceremony with just the two of you, and meet your family later for dinner, drinks, and celebration
There’s no right or wrong way to do this. You can always choose whether or not to have family or friends participate in your most intimate day — and there are many ways to make sure they can be involved while keeping things small!
Myth #5: “We’re not adventurous enough to have an elopement.”
FACT: Your big day can happen anywhere you want.
There’s this trend that’s becoming huge in the wedding industry, and you’ve probably seen it: adventurous elopements. You know, couples reading their vows on a mountaintop, waking up at 4 AM to begin their hike, getting muddy, and messy, or rock climbing to a ceremony spot… What if you want to elope so badly, but all of that just isn’t what you had in mind at all?
Elopements are *not* about climbing mountains. Eloping is about intentionally creating a day that feels perfect for you two. It celebrates you and the things that are most important to you. And it doesn’t have to involve elevation gain.
What this day looks like is totally up to you. Deciding on mountains, cities, beaches, cabins, deserts, or AirBnB’s is just the starting point.
Have fun and make this day something you’d want to do together over and over again!
Myth #6: “Eloping won’t feel as special as a big wedding.”
FACT: You know what’s the special part of your wedding day? Getting married and being present with your partner. You know what you’ll have plenty of time for on your elopement day…? Say it with me: getting married and being present with your partner!
Instead of a receiving line, you could go on an epic hike together to the perfect spot to recite your vows. Instead of getting ready in separate, dimly-lit rooms, you could make breakfast together in a cabin in the woods, or drink mimosas in a swanky hotel while getting ready together.
A wedding day that’s designed JUST for you two where you get to hang out without any stress or drama is going to be pretty special if you ask me.
Myth #7: “You can only elope in a courthouse.”
FACT: You can elope ANYWHERE!
This is the wildest one y’all: You really can elope anywhere you want!
There are some rules, of course… In Oklahoma, you’ll need a registered officiant and two witnesses. Other than that — the sky’s the limit! And other states like Colorado have even more lax rules about how you can get married. There, all you need is you and your partner.
So, elopements don’t have to happen in the courthouse — if you want to marry your person in the outdoors, your favorite bar, even the library — you can. Do whatever feels so “you.”
And if you need some inspiration on my favorite locations in Oklahoma for an awesome elopement day, be sure to check out my blog post ALL about it!
CHEERS to your best adventure yet!
Myth #8: “Eloping is just the cheap-o option.”
FACT: One of the beautiful parts of eloping is the freedom and flexibility to go as big or as small as you’d like. And even if you decide on something small, eloping is anything but a “cheapened” wedding experience.
Some people may think eloping is being cheated out of a full wedding day experience, but I see things differently: doing something different that’s memorable and special for you two will always be a rewarding experience, especially if it comes with less stress and less drama. Being intentional about your day also means you get to decide where your budget goes and what’s most important to you. You really can ball out on the experiences you like, or choose keep things simple.
Whatever you decide to do, do it for YOU. It will never be a cheapened experience because of that.
There you have it! Some of the most common elopement myths, BUSTED.
If you’re considering eloping and looking for advice, planning tips, or a photographer who’s going to support you help you along the way, look no further! Click here to get in touch with me to start chatting about your amazing elopement day!
LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!!! This is so good! I heard these before and I don’t believe any of them. Thanks for making this.
Such an on point stuff! Elopements are so not selfish! They are the beat!
This is such a great list! So informative and eye-opening. Eloping is definitely the way to go!
I appreciate your blog. It is so useful 😉 I can get more knowledge
Absolutely incredible post! I love the photo examples, and all of these points are absolutely essential in understanding how elopements can break the mold of traditional weddings. Great job!
Completely agree with all these !! i wish in italy you could officially elope anywhere too… but hey, it doesn’t have to be official on the paper to make it official and true in your hearts i guess :))
So appreciate you busting these myths surrounding eloping! Knowledge is power!
I love this! Definitely a lot of misconceptions about what an elopement can be, so this is so great!